Wednesday April 21, 2004
the matrix revulsion
Written by gatmog at
09:03 PM
Categories:
movies,
reviewsThe in-laws are currently stationed in Hong Kong, and aside from the huge culture shock they seem to be enjoying it very much. They have fantastic weather all year round, and access to a lot of unfamiliar things that make their daily lives more interesting. As a result, we tend to get a lot of stuff "imported" via courier that they have purchased such as VCDs (completely legal of course), magazines, and an amazing variety of snack foods. Last week we got a copy of The Matrix Revolutions, and decided to check it out. Leaving the theatre crestfallen after weathering the massive hype of Reloaded, I expected great things from a movie that is supposed to tie everything together. A few reviews from friends when it was in theatres assured me that it was better, and so when we finally sat down to watch it I was ready to be vindicated after Reloaded's mis-steps.
The Matrix Revolutions is the insult to Reloaded's injury. Trying not to degrade into clever combinations of foul langauge, I still can only say that it is absolutely fucking awful. Overdramatic in its delivery, convoluted in plot and in its action scenes, and completely pointless as a sequel.
The completely eye-rolling final battle involving giant exoskeletons a little too reminiscent of the power loaders from Aliens ended (for the most part) with an EMP blast from a ship barely making it inside Zion's docks. What was the point of the final power loader stand if there was always this "last ditch effort"? How did bullets actually manage to stay the crushing blow of highly agile robots that probably number in the billions? Neo's final confrontation with the machine's hive mind regarding their common enemy was an interesting way of cleaning things up, but not enough to save this disaster of a movie from collapsing on itself.
The convoluted explanation on why The Oracle actress changed was also extremely frustrating to listen to. Indeed, it was sad that Gloria Foster died during filming, but there's not a whole lot you can do except continue as planned. Just look back at The Crow, which saw the death of its star, and could still be salvaged (the makeup helped, of course). I'd like to think that audiences can accept these unfortunate circumstances without having to slog through rhetoric and double-speak that confuses the issue. Taking a cue Microsoft's idea of security the Wachowskis plan on making their story so obscure it's impossible to tell if it's actually doing the job or not. The only sequence I enjoyed in this movie was the assault on Merovingian's club - but even that was a "re-imagining" of the famous lobby scene from the first film. The climax is a Woo-like standoff that's so over the top that it was cool by default.
With Revolutions the Wachowskis have given the entire franchise a viking funeral. The very concept of both sequels was incredibly indulgent and expecting the masses to choke down this insipid, lazy mess without complaining was cavalier at best. As far as I'm concerned there's only one Matrix film, and I will happily continue to watch it for years to come. The sequels were pointless and told me absolutely nothing except how incredibly vain and contemptuous the creators are.
don't play truth or dare
Dear Son,
1. Fantastic review. Pencil full of poison lead (Elliot Smith).
2. Did any part of you think that Merovingian was ... how do I say this ... annoyingly cultured?
3. The battle for Zion should've been tense and suspenseful, but the obviousness of the computer generated animation during these sequences damaged MY ability to suspend disbelief. I didn't ever believe that I was watching humanity's last stand. Instead, I felt like I was watching a non-playable demo for a Matrix Revolutions videogame - shoot down as many sentinels as possible before being ... underwhelmed.
4. I just didn't understand ... anything. Loaded sentence.
Take care,
pinche Beto.
I also sat slack-jawed at the horribleness that was the second and third film of the Matrix trilogy. The first film was brilliant partially due to the fresh special effects, but mostly due to importance of its story. Reloaded and Revolutions lacked that most important plot aspect, instead filling it with bigger explosions. Like bored children, the Wachowski brothers screamed louder and louder for attention, ultimately alienating their fan base and destroying the films. May your careers rest in peace, directorial assholes.
Aside: I picked up a copy of Jet Li's Hero which Quentin Tarantino is releasing this year in North America. OMFG. You have to see it - like a combination between Iron Monkey and Ran, this is the film that you'll toss aside all of the Matrix films for. If you're interested, let me know and I can pick you up a copy in Chinatown (for only $5).
Friend Beto,
1. Thank you. As you know your comments and suggestions are always appreciated.
2. As I said in my review of The Matrix Reloaded, his character was completely worthless except as an antagonist where a convenient plot point is required. The fact that he is French is even more insulting - did they think we would find him any more interesting with that accent?
3. I agree. That whole battle should have been bigger and a lot more devastating. Why only restrict the fighting to enlisted soldiers? I thought the human race was at stake here - even the annoying Kid wanted to fight, but they wouldn't let him. It's as ridiculous as the scene where the Kid runs through a flurry of sentinels to reload the last power loader's guns. What did that show us? The resilience of the human spirit? More like the underestimation of the audience's expectations for a dramatic sequence.
4. The only thing you have to understand is the creative depths that some people will sink when the money is already in hand. Like Uncle George, there was no real onus on the Wachowskis to deliver a captivating spectacle; instead they simply relied on the fans themselves to sell tickets. It's the equivalent of a purple mushroom.
Walter: I didn't get Reloaded because I expected Revolutions to be better and I would get the box set. I suppose I'll call it lucky that it worked out in my favour.
GF: The Wachowskis' careers couldn't end any faster. Their names are far from being sullied though - expect to see a remake of Big Trouble in Little China starring Hugh Jackman and Jet Li.
(To avoid any uproar, that last statement was fabrication.)
